Use These Tips As Your Rescue Kit For Feeling Triggered When You're Estranged During The Holidays
It’s a good idea to have a rescue plan when you’re estranged from family during the Holidays
Do you prefer listening instead of reading? Click below to listen to the podcast episode, or skip down to continue reading.
It’s almost Thanksgiving 2022. Can you believe it? I have the Christmas tree up, and I have the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie in the oven at this very moment. I wonder how you’re feeling about the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays this year.
You might be looking forward to Holidays and feeling like you have solid emotional regulation right now, or you might be feeling a little unprepared for Thanksgiving and Christmas without your estranged daughter or son.
In this post, I’m giving you…
6 tips to create a rescue kit if you’re estranged from your adult child during the Holidays
#1: Decide on a Bible verse of the day
Choose a Bible verse that uplifts you and helps you feel inspired even during hard times.
A verse that uplifts me is Psalm 91:4
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You can look through your Bible, or search online, for uplifting Bible verses, and write one down that stands out to you. When you have selected your verse, read it each day leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas, and also on the morning of the Holiday.
You might want to have the paper you write it on in your bedroom. That way if you have company over for the Holiday, you can go into the bedroom and take a few moments in private to re-read it if you feel triggered or upset.
#2: Use your senses (smell, touch, taste, sound, sight)
Using your senses to help calm your central nervous system is a powerful way to feel better on Thanksgiving, Christmas or any other day. You can bake a pie in a scent that soothes you. Maybe for you, that’s an apple pie, or maybe the scent of vanilla rings you a sense of calm. That’s a good one for me.
Fix a favorite comfort food and bring in your sense of taste, or use your sense of touch and wear a soft cardigan that makes you feel like you’re wrapped in a comforting blanket.
Brainstorm ways you can incorporate your senses of smell, touch, taste, sound and sight to uplift your mood and bring you a feeling of being anchored in love and calm.
#3: Get support lined up now
If you’ve ever had surgery, or an injury such as a broken bone, your doctor might have told you not to wait until the pain gets bad to take pain medication. The same thing holds true for emotional pain. Don’t wait for it to get really harsh before you take action to feel better. Get support lined up now, before Thanksgiving Day arrives.
Have a trusted friend on speed dial so you can step outside and talk for a few minutes, or get into an online support community that focuses on positive empowerment and support.
If you’d like to join our growing Facebook community, go here. The group is private and free, and God is really blessing us with a group of kind, Christian women there. I hope to see you there.
#4: Plan something creative as a rescue remedy
Did you know that doing something creative can release feel good chemicals into your system? Creativity triggers the release of endorphins, serotonin and dopamine, which can elevate your mood. Have something on hand to work with in a creative way. It might be knitting, crocheting, drawing, coloring or writing in your journal.
#5: Move your body
Movement is a means to get grief outside your physical body. Going for a walk if a great way to do this. If you’re home alone, you can also turn on some music and just dance around the room.
Shake your arms, then your hands and sit down on a chair and shake out your legs one at a time. Wiggle around and just allow whatever movement feels right. You might even end up laughing before it’s all over with.
#6: Save the best for last
Plan for a treat you love at the end of the day. Maybe you want to watch a favorite Christmas movie or enjoy a cup of tea as you watch the sunset from a comfortable chair.
Maybe it’s a long soak in the bathtub followed by reading a book you’ve been wanting to read. Don’t have a book you’re looking forward to? Run out and grab one now, or download something on Audible.
Set an intention to do something you enjoy to finish out Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. And as you do it, allow yourself to feel the gratitude in your body… to really experience the thankful feeling for that thing you get to enjoy.
Before I go, I want to invite you to say a prayer and thank God for your estranged son or daughter. Because for whatever reason, God picked you to mother your child. And God’s ways are higher than our ways. He never makes a mistake.
Even though you’re going through this pain of estrangement in this moment, there is a reason you were matched with your child. Trust God. Your faith displayed in thanking Him even when you don’t see the path forward… that’s powerful.
Allowing yourself to feel that gratitude for your son or daughter, even in the midst of the pain… that is healing for your soul.
With Love, Jenny
If you’re going through family estrangement from your adult son or daughter, I can help you. Click here to learn how I can help you with your estrangement situation. Or go here to schedule your free consultation to explore working together.
Jenny Good is a Podcaster, Certified Cognitive Behavioral Coach and Certified Family Estrangement Coach. She is a Thought Leader in reconnecting mothers and adult children, and she specializes in family estrangement, reconciliation and emotional healing support for Christian estranged mothers.