Many Estranged Mothers Are Also HSPs: You Need To Know About This

Are you Both an Estranged Mom and an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)?

I want to talk to the estranged mothers who are deep feelers. The ones who wear their heart on their sleeve, who feel things so deeply it sometimes aches, who love fiercely and sometimes feel like they’re a little too much. 

If that describes you, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). And that’s not a flaw. It’s one of the amazing ways you were designed by God. 

In this podcast episode (and blog post), I’ll walk you through…

• 5 signs that you might be an HSP

• Why knowing you’re an HSP is liberating

• How understanding your sensitivity can become a superpower for reconciliation with your estranged adult child

Read the blog below…

Today, let’s talk about something that could unlock a lot of answers in your estrangement journey…

Have you heard the term HSP? It stands for Highly Sensitive Person.

If you’re here because you are an estranged mother, there’s a fair chance that you are a Highly Sensitive Person. Because many of the mothers I work with - women who are navigating the grief and confusion of estrangement - are HSPs. 

I am an HSP. We are sensitive souls. Deep feelers. The ones who sit in their cars and cry after hard conversations, who replay what they said in their head a hundred times… and still wonder if it was wrong. We feel deeply, love fiercely and sometimes take on the moods and feelings of the people we’re close to. 

Preparing to soak in what’s here

This is a great time to pause, warm up your decaf tea or coffee and say a prayer. Ask Jesus to speak to you through what you read here. 

You might want to grab a journal and a pen too, because what we’re about to unpack could shift how you see yourself—and how you navigate reconciliation with your estranged child.

liberation

Understanding that you're an HSP doesn’t label you; it liberates you. It explains why things cut so deep. Why you carry every hurtful word and stare into it like a mirror. 

This can be a superpower in estrangement

But here’s something I want you to know: being an HSP is a superpower. When it’s understood, nurtured and used in alignment with God’s truth, it becomes a healing force.

When it’s misunderstood, though? It can wreak havoc on your nervous system… and on your attempts to reconcile with your estranged son or daughter.

We’re going to walk through five signs that you might be an HSP. I’ll show you how each one can negatively affect your estrangement - but more importantly, how to turn it into a superpower that actually brings you closer to healing.

5 signs you’re an hSP and how to turn it into a superpower

1. You tend to take on the emotions of the people around you. 

This can negatively impact the relationship with your child because you do what I call “getting into the pool with them.” They might say something accusatory and you react vs respond and start defending yourself. 

Before long, you’re in a tug of war about “yes you did”, and “no I didn’t”. You just gave your power away and it only put you and your child farther apart. Nothing got resolved, but you feel terrible. 

You turn this into a superpower by learning to understand the emotions you’re picking up on without stepping into those emotions yourself. You become a compassionate observer instead of getting into the pool with them. 

When you understand their emotions from an empathetic place, you can respond instead of react. You bring calm instead of chaos. And that’s magnetic to a hurting child.

2. Fear of rejection is strong for you.

This can negatively impact things with your estranged child because when you perceive them pushing you away, you go into a trauma response. That might be fighting, running away, becoming overly agreeable or freezing and feeling unable to say or do anything. You cannot heal an estrangement from that place. 

You work with this trait by letting Jesus heal the rejection wounds in you first. When your fear of being abandoned loosens its grip, you create emotional space for your child’s pain. 

You can stay present in conversations that used to feel unbearable. You become the lighthouse—not the lifeguard trying to drag them to shore, but the steady light they can see from wherever they are.

3. You worry that you’re too sensitive or too much.

How many times have we, as HSPs, been told we’re too sensitive? Or we take things too personally. We need to lighten up. Does everything need to turn into a big, drawn-out discussion? 

Yeah. I know. This grows self doubt and we try to water ourselves down to make other people comfortable. We end up either coming off to our children as being fake, or it all overflows and we go over the top because we’ve been bottling up our feelings. 

You turn this into a superpower when you learn emotional regulation tools that help you find balance. Then you can show up in forgiveness and radical love, which is the medicine that heals all estrangements from adult children. 

You can learn to leverage your sensitivity to be sensitive to their needs in healing this relationship. 

Radical love isn’t passive—it’s bold. It’s forgiving when the world tells you to cut people off. It lays down ego. And your deep heart? It was made for this kind of love.

4. Criticism can feel cutting, and might make you feel deeply offended

When you’re a deep feeler, words don’t just sting… they can scar. Your estranged child might say things that aren’t fair. They might say things that feel exaggerated. Or they might accuse you or speak with a sharpness born of pain. 

If you’re not careful, those words can throw you into a spiral of offense and overreaction. And the devil whispers, “See? They don’t care about you. Say something. Don’t let them walk all over you!”

But that doesn’t heal. It widens the rift.

You turn this into a superpower by shifting your internal conversation. Instead of asking, "How dare she say that?" ask, "What else could be true here?"

Let’s say your daughter tells you that you were always self-absorbed. It hits hard. You want to yell, "I gave you everything!"

But what if you press pause and ask, “What else could be true?” Maybe she’s trying to say she felt unseen. Maybe her delivery is rough, but her heart is still reachable.

When you respond from curiosity instead of offense, you invite healing. That’s the power of an HSP who has done their inner work and has the right tools.

5. You are a deep thinker.

You analyze everything. Conversations. Silences. Text messages. You turn them over and over in your mind. And if you’re not intentional, your thoughts can spiral into fear, resentment or a sense of defeat.

You might ruminate, catastrophize or pre-play interactions that haven’t even happened. But when you invite God into your thoughts, your depth becomes a strong point. 

Use your deep thinking to journal. To reflect. To invite the Holy Spirit to show you what’s yours to own, and how to grow from that. 

Being a Highly Sensitive Person doesn’t disqualify you from reconciliation. It positions you for it—if you embrace your sensitivity as a strength rather than a flaw.

You were designed with tenderness on purpose. And now, it’s time to stop letting the world shame your sensitivity. It’s time to rise with soft strength. There is such a thing as being soft AND strong. 

You are valuable, amazing and so very loved.

Okay, friend. That’s what I have for you this time, and I hope it blesses you. 

Love, Jenny

Do you long for God-led, safe space where you can process, heal and get the guidance you need for reconciliation? I can help you. Go here to apply for your free consultation.

Jenny Good is a Podcaster, Certified Cognitive Behavioral Coach and Certified Family Estrangement Coach. She is a Thought Leader in reconnecting mothers and adult children, and specializes in family estrangement, reconciliation and emotional healing support for Christian estranged mothers.