Parental Estrangement: 5 Reasons It Ends And The Number 1 Reason It Doesn’t
Learn 5 Reasons For reconciliation… and the number one reason some moms stay estranged.
As an estranged mom, you might have given a lot of thought to why some moms reconcile while others do not. Maybe you’ve researched it to try to understand what needs to happen to put the best possible odds in your favor.
If so, you’re in the right place.
In this podcast episode, and blog post, I’ll walk you through…
Five reasons that reconciliation happens
One major reason that some moms remain estranged from their adult children
How to get my guidance and support for your specific estrangement situation
estranged mothers want to know how to build a bridge back to their adult children.
While there’s no magic formula to reconcile with your estranged son or daughter, there are some specific reasons reconciliation happens. And there are reasons it doesn’t. I want to talk you through five of the reasons estranged mothers reunite with their children, and we’l lalso look at one reason they don’t…
Here are 5 Reasons Estrangements end…
The estranged mom accepts that she has healing work to do before the reconciliation happens.
Trying to heal the estrangement from your son or daughter without healing yourself first is like trying to grow a beautiful flower from unhealthy soil. It doesn’t work.
You have been through a deep emotional trauma, and you’re re-experiencing some part of it daily. To heal the fruit, you must heal the root. We start with you.
The estranged mom gets the right support.
There are some things in life that you can reasonably try to do yourself. Maybe you try to redecorate your house, learn to restore old furniture or fix the squeaky screen door. But reconciling with your estranged child is not something you want to try to duct tape together.
Your emotional regulation, learning to communicate differently and creating an actionable reconciliation plan… those are things that require the right guidance and support.
You want to partner with an experienced, well-trained professional who is led by God and has been through estrangement and reconciliation. Someone who has a proven process and can answer your questions and guide you through what is likely one of the hardest situations you will face in this lifetime.
Whether it’s me, or if you think someone else might be your person, get the right support. Do not cut corners on this.
The estranged mom engages in a strong and determined strategy of spiritual warfare.
There is often a spiritual component to family estrangements from adult children. The devil knows how to get to the heart of a loving mother - through her child. And he has a strategy against your child, and you.
The sooner you consistently engage in S/spiritual warfare, the better. If you’d like to learn specifics about how to do that, make sure you listen to the July 30, 2024 episode on that topic. You can also learn more here.
The estranged mom is committed to consistently showing up UNTIL.
As a mother who has been through estrangement, I know firsthand how emotional draining it can feel. It’s hard to keep getting up and trying again when you feel wounded and tired.
I see you.
I can tell you that to defeat the enemy’s agenda against your family and you, you must be all-in. It requires being fully committed to showing up consistently, and doing the work that is needed, UNTIL it works.
UNTIL the breakthrough comes. Whether that takes one week, one month, one year or one decade.
And what is the work I am referring to? Your emotional healing, new communication techniques, and creating and working your reconciliation plan. Specific S/spiritual warfare.
That is the work I help estranged moms do. This is path to building a bridge back to your estranged adult child.
The estranged mom is purposeful about her input and her output.
What I mean by input and output is what you put into your mind and what you say.
Your input includes things like the Facebook groups you’re part of, what you watch on tv, what you listen to from friends or your non-estranged family members, podcasts you listen to and so forth.
Your output is what you type, write or say. The Bible tells us the power of life and death are in the tongue, and It also teaches us that what we focus on is important.
A mom who achieves successful reconciliation is intentional about what she allows close to her, and what she puts out into the world.
And the #1 reason estrangements do NOT end is…
The estranged mom is unwilling to feel hard things.
If you want to repair the relationship with your estranged adult child, you need to be prepared and willing to feel hard things. There will be discomfort.
Moms who remain estranged are often those who are only willing to try something for a little while because sustaining their efforts feels hard or brings up uncomfortable feelings.
This journey will stretch you, grow you and challenge you. If the goal is a repaired relationship with your child, be willing to feel hard things, and make sure you have the right support to help you get through those valleys.
It is sometimes hard to feel the discomfort involved, but it is doable. I promise it is. Through Christ, you are capable of hard things.
Okay, friend. That’s what I have for you this time, and I hope it blesses you.
Love, Jenny
Do you long for God-led, safe space where you can process, heal and get the guidance you need for reconciliation? I can help you. Go here to apply for your free consultation.
Jenny Good is a thought leader in family estrangement healing. As a Certified Family Estrangement Coach, Jenny helps Christian estranged moms defy the devil, increase their chances of reconciling with their adult children, and live happier lives in the meantime.
