God is doing a new thing!

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I have some announcements before we get into this post, and I’m so excited to share those with you. You may have noticed some changes to the website, and the podcast. Here’s why…

I’ve felt that God is calling me to work with more Christian estranged moms, helping them with emotional healing and helping them achieve reconciliation with their estranged adult children. For some time now, I’ve known there is a healing and restoration calling on me, and I am moving into performing in that calling by helping to heal and restore estranged moms and their families.

I believe we desperately need to get back to the family systems that God intended, and I want to help estranged moms do that.

As far as what topics will be covered here and on the updated podcast, I intend to talk about Jesus, emotional healing, mindset, identity, spiritual warfare as it pertains to our children and of course, estrangement and reconciliation.

If you believe those topics will edify and benefit you, I hope you stick around. You are welcome here.

Let’s talk about how this change impacts working together. This change does not impact the clients I already work with, so if you are one of my current clients who are not experiencing an estrangement, don’t worry; our work together will continue as planned.

As far as new clients, I will mainly be working with Christian moms who are experiencing semi-estrangement, estrangement or a difficult relationship with a prodigal adult child.

If you are a non-Christian mom experiencing estrangement, we can also work together, but some of my approach would be different because part of what I teach estranged moms has to do with S/spiritual warfare, and faith in God working on your behalf.

Working together with me as your family estrangement coach

There are 2 ways we can work together to help you feel better faster, and increase your chance of a successful reconciliation with your estranged child. You can do a single one-time session or you can get longer term, highly personalized support in my signature coaching option. Go here to read about your options, or book a call.

Okay, so I think that does it for the announcements. Let’s talk about how to get rid of feelings of anxiety and powerlessness.

anxiety and feelings of powerlessness at the Holidays

Those feelings can be especially strong around Thanksgiving and Christmas because those are Holidays when we traditionally think of being together with our family.

When you’re going through a family estrangement from your adult child, the Holidays will probably look different, and feelings of anxiety or powerlessness tend to come up stronger.

We’re going to walk through an exercise I call AIR. AIR is an acronym for Action, Influence and Release. So let’s begin with talking about the first step, which is Action.

Journal assignment

In your journal, at the top of a blank page, write the word ACTION. On the top of the second page, write the word INFLUENCE and on the top at the third page, write the word RELEASE.

Think of each of those headings as a category for your thoughts. That’s all you need to write for the moment. Let me explain a bit about each page to you.

The ACTION category of this exercise is a space to put anything that is on your heart that you have total control over. An example of this might be that you really want to lose 5 pounds before a Christmas party you’re attending in mid-December. Depending on when you hear this episode, you could very well have time to get that done. That is something you can do within yourself, by the grace of God.

Another example of something that would fit into the ACTION category would be wanting to give your unsolicited opinions to your semi estranged daughter less often.

Maybe you realize you get into arguments when you give her your unsolicited advice, so you want to have better conversations by assuming more of a mentor role as opposed to the mother role of always telling her your opinions. This is something that’s entirely within your control to do so it fits into this ACTION category.

Moving on to the INFLUENCE category… this one is for situations where you have some level of influence over the outcome but it’s not 100% within your control.

An example of this might be reconciliation with an estranged adult child. Another example would be reducing your cholesterol levels before your next doctor visit. You have power to influence these outcomes, but not complete control.

The third category is RELEASE. Things go here when you have neither control or influence over the outcome. Things we put into this category are items we need to release at the feet of Jesus, in prayer.

Examples of things that go in the RELEASE category might be something like anxiety over a possible impending economic recession. Or worrying about a winter storm. It could also be feeling bad about a past mistake you made as a mom. These are things you need to lay at the feet of Jesus and release them.

Here’s something I want to tell you about things you put into the RELEASE category: This is not always a one time and done kind of thing. You might have to release something at the feet of Jesus multiple times. Because sometimes you might release it and pick it back up a day or two later.

Sometimes, something might trigger you to think about that thing, and before you realize what’s happening, you’ve picked it up again. So, if you need to release something more than once, just give it back to God.

Here’s how to use this exercise…

On a fourth sheet of paper, as the anxiety or powerless feelings come up, I want you to write them on that fourth blank sheet of paper. Just write them down and leave them there.

Toward the end of your day, review anything you wrote on that page. Decide with each item, does it belong on the ACTION, INFLUENCE or RELEASE page, and write it there.

If it is on the ACTION or INFLUENCE PAGE, I want you to write next to it, what you will do to support the outcome you want.

So for example, let’s say that on the INFLUENCE page you’ve written “I want to reconcile with my estranged daughter”. Good. You’ve realized, and taken ownership, that you have some influence over this outcome with your estranged daughter.

Now, identify 1-3 things you can do to influence that outcome. You might write something like:

Each night at bedtime, I can pray for God’s healing over this relationship.
Starting today I will spend 10 minutes per day journaling my feelings to begin processing my pain because I know my healing has to happen first.
This week, I will find an estrangement coach to guide and support me on this journey.

Commit to taking the steps you write down. You might need to put them into your calendar so you have time to do them, or write yourself a post-it note and put it where you’ll be reminded. Whatever you need to do to be consistent in taking those steps.

Do this with each of the things that cause you anxious or powerless feelings.

By the way, even for the things you put into the RELEASE category, you are not powerless over those things in the sense that prayer changes things. When you give those things to Jesus, you are taking a powerful action. He knows exactly what to do.

Also, before I wrap up, I want to give you a free gift I created to help you know what to do when your adult child chooses estrangement. It’s a downloadable guide to walk you through 3 things I absolutely wish someone would have told me when I was experiencing the estrangement from my adult daughter.

You can get your free guide here.

Okay, friend. That’s what I have for you this time and I hope it blesses you.

Use This Journal Exercise To Get Rid Of Feelings Of Anxiety And Powerlessness.

God is doing a new thing!

Working together with me as your family estrangement coach

anxiety and feelings of powerlessness at the Holidays

Journal assignment