Biblical Habits Of Estranged Moms Who Reconcile

These Biblical habits can move You toward reconciliation with your estranged child.

Estrangement from your adult child feels like you’re stuck waiting… waiting for your child’s heart to soften while yours breaks a little more each day. But there are actions you can take to move you closer to emotional healing and reconciliation. These are Biblical habits I’ve consistently seen in mothers who reconcile with their adult children. If you’re tired of feeling powerless and ready to move with intention instead of despair, this is for you.

In this episode (and blog post), I’ll walk you through…

• How consistent habits bring you closer to reconciliation

• 3 Biblical habits of moms who reconcile with their estranged children

• A simple practice you can start this week

Click below to listen to the podcast episode, or skip down for the blog.

Read the blog below…

The habits you create and maintain right now have a huge impact on how you feel, and whether or not your estrangement will heal and turn into a reconciliation. It’s not about taking one huge action, one time… it’s more about consistently making right choices. 

In this blog post, I want to share three Biblical habits I consistently see in estranged moms who reconcile. These are not quick fixes. They are not formulas. And they are not about controlling your child’s choices.

These are God-aligned habits of the heart. They steady your nervous system, and create conditions where reconciliation becomes more likely. 

3 Biblical habits I consistently see in estranged moms who reconcile

Habit #1: Practice forgiveness. 

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood concepts in estrangement from an adult child
Forgiveness does not mean excusing harm.
It does not mean denying reality.
And it does not mean reconciliation happens just because you forgive.

Biblically, forgiveness is obedience before it is emotion.

Jesus said in Matthew 6:14–15

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

That’s sobering. And it’s also freeing.

Forgiveness releases you from carrying the weight of offense every day. Estranged moms who reconcile tend to treat forgiveness as a daily decision, not a one-time achievement. They notice when resentment creeps back in, and they return -again and again - to releasing it back to God.

Forgiveness keeps your heart from hardening in ways that make reconciliation impossible.

And remember, we are called to forgive, even when the other person has not yet apologized. When Jesus was on the cross, He asked for forgiveness for the very people who were murdering Him. They had not asked for forgiveness at that time. Yet He had mercy on them and wanted them to be forgiven. 

Habit #2: Choosing Radical Love. 

Radical love is not weak. It’s bold and courageous.

Estrangement tempts you to protect yourself by closing off emotionally—by matching distance with distance. But moms who reconcile choose a different path. They choose radical love. And that means committing the most loving actions and thinking the most loving thoughts - even when it makes zero sense to the world.

Scripture tells us in Romans 12:20–21

Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

This doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or abandoning boundaries if they’re truly needed (spoiler alert, mainstream society uses boundaries way more often than needed, and in ways that aren’t always healthy). 

Radical love means refusing to let bitterness become your default heart posture. It means speaking kindly when a harsh word would be easier. It means praying for blessings over someone when resentment would feel justified.

Radical love aligns with Christ, even when reconciliation hasn’t arrived yet. And that alignment matters more than you may realize. 

Habit #3: Focusing on What Is Good—Even in the Middle of Pain

This habit is quite powerful. One of the most needle-moving things I teach my coaching clients is about how to transform their thoughts to align with what God says - instead of aligning with the thoughts the enemy tries to feed them.

Your thoughts, and what you believe - is one of the strongest predictors of whether or not you will reconcile with your child. 

The very nature of estrangement trains your mind to constantly scan for loss or emotional danger — focusing on what’s missing, what’s broken… and bracing for the negative impact of being hurt. Again. But estranged moms who reconcile intentionally train their focus somewhere else. And that is Biblical… 

Philippians 4:8 says

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

This doesn’t deny pain. It transforms its impact. When you focus on what is still good—your character growth, your faith, moments of peace, small signs of softening—you prevent despair from dominating your inner world.

Hope is welcomed where attention is disciplined.

These habits are things you start working on today. One step at a time. These habits are about keeping your heart aligned with Christ while you wait, hope… and heal.

Here’s a simple practice you can do this week

Once a day, choose one intentional act aligned with today’s episode. For example… 

Release one resentful thought through forgiveness

Speak or think one loving sentence about your child

Notice and name one good thing God is doing in you

That’s it. One small act per day. Small obedience compounds.

Okay, friend. That’s what I have for you this time, and I hope it blesses you.

Love, Jenny

Do you long for God-led, safe space where you can process, heal and get the guidance you need for reconciliation? I can help you. Go here to apply for your free consultation.

Jenny Good is a Podcaster, Certified Cognitive Behavioral Coach and Certified Family Estrangement Coach. She is a Thought Leader in reconnecting mothers and adult children, and specializes in family estrangement, reconciliation and emotional healing support for Christian estranged mothers.